(1) A retirement program for chimpanzees. To care for animals
formerly used in government research, Congress created Chimpanzee Health
Improvement, Maintenance and Protection Act (CHIMP), which will spend
$45,000 per animal in 2001 -- 'proving that once again, politicians are
making a monkey out of the taxpayer,' said Dasbach.

(2) Turning your money into dung. Congress voted to give $4 million
to the International Fertilizer Development Center for waste research.

(3) Subsidizing politicians' erections. 'Congress's health insurance
program actually covers Viagra -- which demonstrates that the worst case of
electile dysfunction in the world can be found right here in Washington,
DC,' said Dasbach.

(4) Trying to convince teenagers not to have sex. An 'emergency'
spending provision in the 2001 military construction bill includes $20
million for a teenage abstinence program.

(5) A Dr. Seuss memorial. The HUD funding bill contains $400,000 for
a memorial to the author of Green Eggs and Ham and other children's books --
a classic case of Pork-I-Am.

(6) Trying to convince fat people to walk up stairs. The Centers for
Disease Control spent $14,900 to redecorate a stairwell to encourage obese
employees to walk, rather than taking the elevator.

(7) Spying on your e-mail. The FBI's Carnivore computer snoop ware
program threatens to take a bite out of your privacy and devour the Fourth
Amendment.

(8) Subsidizing religion. 'President Bush's plan to funnel tax
dollars to faith-based charities shows that what politicians really worship
is Big Government,' said Dasbach.

(9) Welfare programs in Chukotka, Russia. The 2001 foreign aid bill
contains $3 million for a University of Alaska program designed to 'improve
social conditions" in the eastern Russian province.

(10) Subsidizing a bug lab. Republican Thad Cochran stung taxpayers
for $5 million when he inserted money into an agriculture bill to build an
insect laboratory in his home state of Mississippi.

(11) Research on peanut allergies: 'Proving that Congress is even
nuttier than you think, the Agriculture Department will spend $500,000 to
study how to reduce allergic reactions to peanuts,' said Dasbach.

(12) Paying medical schools not to train doctors. In an attempt to
relieve a doctor glut without reducing funding for teaching hospitals,
Congress agreed to pay medical schools $400 million -- not to train doctors.

(13) Looking at you -- naked. U.S. Customs officials at dozens of
airports are now using the high-tech Body Search scanner, which can see body
contours right through your clothes. 'These X-rated X-rays have turned
airport bureaucrats into peeping Toms and stripped innocent Americans of
their privacy,' said Dasbach.

(14) Protecting people with 'odd' ideas. According to the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission, people with odd scientific notions, such
as a belief in mysterious messages from UFOs, may be entitled to
anti-discrimination protection on the same basis as religious belief.

(15) Giving you wrong answers when you ask the IRS tax questions. A
new study by the Treasury Department found that IRS employees gave incorrect
answers in response to questions from taxpayers a whopping 47% of the time.
And the ultimate indignity: If you follow their erroneous advice, you're
still liable for back taxes, interest, and penalties.